Part of our makeup is to expect certain things to occur in a certain way and at certain times. I expect the city to pick up my trash on Tuesday morning. I expect my mail to arrive Monday through Saturday. I expect to be paid in return for working at my job.
Expectations can be painful, however, when they come to other humans. I am the kind of person who keeps my supplies full for the next person who comes after me. I help others when I can. Unfortunately, not all people do the same. I can be drowning at work while another person looks at their phone. I can come in in the morning with the supplies bins empty.
We can be hurt or angry when we expect things from others based on what we would do. “I helped them; why doesn’t she help me?” (This can also be an issue in marriage, but that’s for another article.) Additionally, if we weren’t present, we wouldn’t know what kind of workload the other person had. Perhaps they were swamped up until time to leave. If they didn’t have a free moment to re-stock or assist someone else, should I be angry with them because I had to refill my supplies?
My husband works for an international company. Their policy is to “assume positive intent.” This is an excellent idea. If we assume everyone coming before us meant well, this can calm any anger or hurt feelings.
The Bible has numerous verses to consider when our expectations of others hurt us. Colossians 3:15 tells us to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts….and be thankful.” Philippians 2:5 reminds us to “have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” While I know it can be challenging to be positive when our coworker fails to do XYZ for the tenth time, only good can come from focusing on the positive and giving grace to our coworkers.
