Stepping into our adult kids’ lives to make things happen or find out what is going on is not a good idea. Author Jodie Berndt, who wrote “Praying the Scriptures for Your Children,” said “As parents, it is deceptively easy to confuse our job with God’s and to start nudging our kids toward a particular career or ministry opportunity.” This is true. We must take much of what was once our job as parent and place it within God’s capable hands.
I once read a blog post by a mom who said parenting your adult son was a matter of knowing him less. To some extent, this is true. Because they no longer need our day to day advice and guidance, there can be much going on in their lives to which we are not privy.
Part of our new parenting job is to be available for them if they need us, but not demand to be an intimate part of their lives. We must be content with what they share and trust that if there is anything big going on, they will share or ask for some guidance.
Letting go of our own hopes and dreams for our children can be difficult. Often, we think their lives would so much better if…they went to college, or learned a trade, or went ahead and got married, or…the list can be endless. And of course we know what’s best, right? We are their parent and we have lived much longer than they have. But it is better to pray and ask God to lead them where He wants them to go rather than force our opinions on our adult child and create resentment or drive a wedge in our relationship.
Psalm 16:9 is a great verse to remember and pray over our adult children. “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Psalm 31:14-15 tells us, “But I trust in you, Lord, I say, ‘You are my God. My times are in your hands.” We can combine these two verses into a prayer for our children.
Father, we know despite what plans we make, you determine our steps. We ask, Father, for you to give us the courage to trust in you and determine the steps of our son or daughter as they enter adulthood life. We give them into your hands and pray you will continue to guide and watch over them each day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
(Jodie Berndt, Praying the Scriptures for Your Children: Discover How to Pray God’s Purpose for Their Lives (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001), 204.)