For at least eighteen years, your family has had traditions around the holidays. For Christmas, we always decorated and baked sugar cookies on Christmas Eve. The boys would have a competition to create the best and ugliest Diabetes Cookie. This cookie had all the available toppings on it. It rarely resembled a reindeer or Santa but was a mound of ugliness that sent them into giggles.
Memories are the best gifts from all our holidays. Our extended family always has a family party a week or two before Christmas, and we give White Elephant gifts. Our limit is $10, but we look for the best, most helpful gift for that amount. (No gag gifts.) There’s usually one gift that several fight to take home.
But the day finally arrives, and your child marries or moves to their own home. With this comes change—the dreaded C word.
In the almost six years since he married, I’ve seen our oldest at Thanksgiving twice. Our daughter-in-law’s family often travels eight hours away to see her grandfather. Christmas is different, too. We usually see them at the extended family party, and that’s it.
Now both sons are out of the house, and for the past two years, we are completely done with Christmas on the evening of the extended family party. This makes for a quiet Christmas Day.
Change is the name of the game with our adult children. They now have families of their own, and we parents are at their disposal as they decide how the holidays will be with this new dynamic.
We do not have to hate this time. Since we are embracing change, it’s time to develop new traditions. Perhaps we can play a board game around the table. Get the daughters-in-law together and make homemade ornaments. Have a holiday movie marathon. The options are endless.
When our kids marry and move out, things with them will change, including our holiday traditions. As senior adults, we must set the tone with a great attitude and look toward our new traditions.
