My oldest son had been married about 5 years before my first big blunder. I’ll not go into the details, but it still makes me ache inside. It also caused me to read articles, purchase books, and listen to podcasts on the subject of parenting adult children.
For eighteen years or so, we parents are driving the car. Especially up to mid-teen years, we make the decisions, encourage, steer, lead in the direction our kids should go. We offer correction when needed. Gradually, we “allow” them to make their own decisions. Then they graduate high school and eventually move out.
Suddenly, it seems, our parental habits of steering and leading are no longer needed. But, I’ve had such a hard time stopping those habits. Unfortunately, I don’t discover I’ve put my foot in my mouth until I get a taste of leather. Then it’s too late to take it back. But don’t they need my advice and reminders?
We still view them as our babies, but they are functioning adults who don’t need us in the same way they once did. So how do we make changes to that relationship? How do we step back and let them do the driving? We all remember the first time they sat down behind the wheel of a car for the first time and drove away alone. Can they navigate they way they need to go? Will they avoid the potholes and obstacles life can throw at them? If they have a head-on collision with the obstacles, how do we parents handle it in light of our new relationship?
Parenting our adult children is a difficult to-and-fro. How much is too much? What if we make large blunders and our kids become angry with us? In this series, we will cover some topics regarding our new and different relationship with our adult children. Spoiler alert: lots of prayer is involved.
